What Kind of Friend Are You?

I was cleaning out some old emails yesterday when I ran across this story of friendship. As I began to read, I felt the bow of compassion pass across the strings of my heart and I was reminded of what Jesus taught regarding friendship….I hope that your heart will be equally moved today as you consider….What Kind of Friend Am I?


One day, during my freshman year, as I was walking home from school, I saw a kid from my class walking just ahead. His name was Kyle.

I looked and saw that he was carrying all of his books; and I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I was lost in my own thoughts as I began to think of the fun that I had planned for the weekend, what with the parties, football game and such with my friends. Kyle’s plight as a nerd seemed inconsequential, so I shrugged my shoulders and went on my merry way. Out of the blue, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They quickly surrounded him, pushing him to the ground, knocking all his books out of his arms….he lay sprawled in the dirt face down; then they ran off, laughing and calling him names as they sprinted away. The force of their pushing and shoving had sent Kyle’s glasses flying through the air and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. When he finally looked up, I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes….My heart went out to him, so I jogged over to him and as he feverishly searched for his glasses, I saw a tears forming in his eyes. I reached down, picked up his glasses and handed them to him and said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!” There was a big smile on his face… a smile that was filled with relief and real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As fate would have it, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him around. He told me that he had previously attended a private school and that his school work had been too great for any outside activities.

Now, I would have never hung out with a private school kid...too many differences in our lifestyles for any kind of compatibility; but as we walked home from school that day, we talked all the way…I even carried some of his books. As it turned out, Kyle was a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with me and my friends and he said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him….and so did my friends!

Before I knew it was Monday morning and there was Kyle with that huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, are you gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!” He just laughed and handed me half of them.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was off to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends... that no amount of miles would ever come between us and our friendship. He was studying to be a doctor and I was to major in business thanks to a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd, especially since he had to prepare a speech for the graduation ceremony. Man, was I glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day arrived and I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really filled out and found himself in high school…he even looked good in his glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him… sometimes, I teased him about how I jealous I was of him!

Today was going to be a tough day for him and I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful kind) and smiled. "Thanks," was all he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. You thank your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe even a coach…. but mostly, you thank your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give to them. I am going to tell you a story."

What Kyle said next shocked me to my core and I just looked at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and how he was carrying all his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile….. Not until that moment did I realize the depth and the love behind that smile.

That smile…that friendship….that one defining moment when we met…. changed my life and the life of my best friend, Kyle….forever!

WHAT A STORY……

Maybe today, you are in need of a smile from a friend…or maybe, it’s your turn to be the one to give a smile…a smile of encouragement, a smile of compassion, a smile of confirmation that a friend so desperately needs. Maybe today is the time to make a new friend …to step out of your comfort zone and make your self vulnerable …to lend a helping hand with no thought for repayment.

The writer of Proverbs speaks of friendship in these ways in 17:17, “A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity” and in 18:24, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” But, it is Christ that defines friendship in its ultimate form in John 15: 13 when He says, “Greater love has no one than this, than he lay down his life for his friend.”

Do you have a friend like that today …or better yet, are you a friend like that today? If you will follow the example of your Savior, your answer will please you and Him….and He will smile on you in a very special way ….a holy smile of gratitude.


Seeking to Make Him Smile,
WPQ