The Cast of the Crucifixion…Peter

I couldn’t believe that I could treat my Jesus like that …what happened…what went so miserably wrong that I would deny and forsake him; turn my back and run away….I should suffer the same fate as Judas Iscariot, but I’m too much of a coward to die at my own hand.

It had only been a week ago that Jesus sent John and me into the village to find the young donkey. It was tethered there, just as Jesus said, and when we told the owner that Jesus had need of it, he gladly gave it to us. We placed our cloaks upon it and Jesus rode upon the back of the young foal as the crowd cheered wildly and lay their coats and palm branches across the road saying, “Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord.” And now, less than a week later, they cried out, “Away with Him! Crucify Him!”

And then, there was the Passover meal that we shared in that upper room…as we sat down to eat, Christ arose and girded himself with a cloth and began to wash our feet. When he came to me, I arrogantly announced that he would never wash my feet. Then, he lovingly told me that if he didn’t wash me I would have no part with him…so I proudly proclaimed that he should wash all of me. He told us later, after the meal that he was going away and that, for now, we could not follow. But once again, I proclaimed my love and desire to follow him …even unto death; but, he lovingly told me that on that very night I would deny him three times.

I failed him again …in the garden. There in the darkness, Judas Iscariot showed up with the Palace guard and a company of Roman soldiers. They said they were searching for Jesus the Nazarene and when they took hold of him, I drew my sword to smite them…I was not one to run from a fight; but again, Jesus gently rebuked me and told me that he must drink the cup that His Father had given him and there should be no more of this…and then, he healed the servant’s severed ear.

Oh, but my greatest failure was the one that Jesus had predicted before we left that upper room….that I would deny Him. After they seized him and led him away, I followed in the shadows…not close enough to be noticed, but I could not forsake Him after all he had done for me. We arrived in the courtyard of the high priest’s house and they built a fire. As I sought to warm myself, a young servant woman looked closely at me and declared that I was one of his followers …but I denied that I knew him. The rooster began to crow to announce the coming of day. A few moments later, someone else saw me and said. “He’s one of them too!” I vehemently denied that I was one of his followers and thought that would be the end of it. As I walked round and round the fire, peering into the house, straining to hear what was happening to Jesus, another man, a relative of the servant whose ear I had cut off, exclaimed, “You were with that man. I’m sure I saw you in the garden with him this very night. You are certainly one of them, since you are also a Galilean.” But I started to curse and to swear with an oath that I never knew the man that they were talking about….and then, it happened….the rooster crowed the second time….and it all came crashing in on me. I ran and I ran into the fleeting darkness as dawn began to make its arrival known…tears streamed down my face as my breathing became labored and strained. I sobbed uncontrollably ….how could this have happened to me…for I am Peter, the one that the Messiah said he would built his church upon that even the gates of hell would not prevail against it. Yet, I had betrayed my Jesus by denying that I ever knew him …that He ever had a position of love and authority in my life.

I wanted to die, but instead I ran away and hid in fear and expectation that they would soon come after me. Within hours, Christ had stood before Pilate, been sentenced to death and had been crucified upon the cross….and while all this took place, I was in hiding with the other disciples. Our world had ended and I was the most miserable one of all…I had denied the one that loved me and called me out to make me one of his chosen…and I had failed him when He needed me most. And now, it was over and I would forever carry that guilt and shame with me …I could never ask my Christ to forgive me for He was gone.

Maybe, today, you see yourself as Peter saw himself, just hours after he had denied that he knew Jesus. You call Jesus your friend, your Savior, even Lord and Master; but there are too many times that you are called upon to make Him known in your world and you pull a Peter…you deny that you love him or that He has the position of love and authority in your life. You have had countless times in many situations to speak up and live out your witness for Jesus Christ; but, too many times, your actions, as well as your words (or lack of them) deny that you belong to Him. You can do as Peter and carry that guilt and shame around with you …or you can be restored by the love and grace that was Peter’s after our Lord arose. You can follow the risen Lord and FEED HIS SHEEP (John 21:15-19).

Today, that choice is yours and yours alone. No one knows the times you have failed to let others see that you belong to Jesus….only you and Jesus know….and He’s not telling.
But, He is waiting for you to ask for His forgiveness…. and then He is ready, willing and able to equip you with a bold love and a loose tongue that gladly proclaims that you know the man from Galilee. May you always be ready to speak His name and share His love….for there’s no denying that He loves you and gave his life for you.

Loved and proclaiming it,

WPQ